Wednesdays

 My school district has deemed Wednesday as an asynchronous learning day. On a side note, before last March did you ever use or even know what asynchronous was? I digress... Wednesdays are meant to be spent meeting with students either one on one,  in small groups, or in large whole-class settings.  Wednesdays can also be used for students to finish up incomplete work, take a test, or something along those lines.  Wednesdays are sort of like a catch-all day. If it needs to happen, it happens on Wednesdays!

(Even though Wednesdays are not a school day, our standards have remained the same.  We teach the same amount in a smaller amount of time.  For some, our Target (gifted) kids are still pulled for a day's worth of instruction.  So, I have some of my kids for 3 days a week... with all the same standards!)

For my team, we begin the day with our planning meeting.  I have been on this team for seven years and it has always been our goal to take a subject, plan it, and then share it with the team.  One positive from Covid is that we are finally doing that... at least to some extent.  We meet early in the day to share our resources, plans and answer questions.  We then move right into our CCC meetings, where we discuss data and all the things that need to be discussed.  These Wednesday meetings often last 2 hours! In fairness to us, we do not have time during the day to talk much and with Covid guidelines, we are not supposed to gather. 

I then move onto meeting with a small group of students to help with writing or reading skills.  It is a great opportunity to make an impact on these kids.  After that, I move to my whole group meetings where I meet for 30 minutes with one group and 30 minutes with another.  I tell you what, by noon I am exhausted!! The day is only half over and I have done nothing but work in front of a computer.

Our day continues after a quick lunch break with meetings - whether faculty, team, key teams, or something else.  Needless to say, Wednesdays are a FULL day.  For my school, this is not a rest day or a go play golf day.. this is a workday. Sadly, that can not be said for all schools or all people within a school.  I have actually heard stories of people playing golf on Wednesday.... which by the way is FINE!  We are all so tired and stretched so thin, if a round of golf eases the load - then golf away!

I say all of this for two reasons. One, I am curious how other school districts are doing this year.  Do you go to school five days a week?  We are a hybrid model - kids are virtual and in person.  The second reason I mention this is because I saw a social media post this morning asking teachers what they thought of having Wednesdays asynchronous next year.  It seems as if many like the break-in instruction and feel as if their kids are well-rested and can tackle more content.  The post got me thinking about whether I would like Wednesday to continue to be asynchronous or not.  Honestly, I don't know... I like aspects of it and then there are aspects I don't like.  The whole thing is above my pay grade... I will make the best of whatever schedule I have. 

Quiet Time

 I love the early morning quiet....the sound of birds waking up and the quiet hum of life waking up around me.  I love the stillness of it all and the hope that each dawn brings.  

I have always been an early riser, my internal clock seems to crave the solitude and quiet of the morning.  Currently, I get up a little after 4 to begin my day.  I start each day with a workout... a chance to get my mind right and my body prepared for what the day will bring.  I enjoy a quiet cup of coffee and scrolling through social media.  It is a mindless pursuit of stillness.  I know what the day brings for a teacher whether we are in the middle of a pandemic or not.

I even love the quiet of my school before people arrive.  I look out at the empty desks and anticipate the noise, laughter, and hard work that will happen today.  I can set my intention for the day, look over plans, and ease into the ever hectic life of a teacher. In all honestly, I can get a lot of work done before anyone else arrives and I have easy access to the copy machine!! I mean isn't that worth the early wake-up in itself!?!

I know that there are some who crave the late-night shift... maybe it's the adventure of it or maybe the late-night is calm and quiet for them. I can't begin to understand... I can't make it up past 9! I hope that everyone finds the time that their soul craves. Whether it is early morning, late at night, or a quiet moment in the afternoon.... we all should acknowledge the stillness, the quiet of our surroundings, and give our minds a rest.  We all deserve some quiet time. 

Well, here we go again.....

 Have you ever done something that you know is going to work out in the end but you really aren't sure about?  You know, that I should really do this kinda feeling but you can barely muster the energy or focus to do it?  That is how I feel right now about committing to the monthly challenge.  I know that it will be very rewarding when I am finished, but I am struggling to get my thoughts out. 

I think many of us find that we are stretched too thin, that our minds are spent, our bodies are tired and we just can't.  Just can't take one more thing.... just can't complete one more project... just can't stand the smell of Lysol... just can't.  We all have Covid fatigue.  We have been in a constant state of flight or fight since this time last year.  Taking on something challenging yet rewarding seems insurmountable.  

Yet, here we all are.  We have committed to making ourselves do something normal.  We have committed to honing our craft, of showing our students that even when things are hard you can do anything.  We will find joy in the camaraderie of our shared goal, of our shared passion for writing, of our shared desire to find some normalcy. We will become a community of writers.

So today and for the next 31 days, I will write this blog.  Some days will be rough, some will be wonderful and some will just be ok, but I will keep writing.  I got this... I am a teacher after all! 

The month of love...

 February, for most people, is the month of Valentine's day.  A month to declare your love for someone... whether a new flame or an everlasting flame.  For me, February is a month filled with hard memories. A month marked by the loss of one of my favorite people that ever lived.

Let me take you back two years.  My effervescent sister-in-law, my partner in crime for over 25 years was diagnosed with anal cancer.  Her cancer was caught early... actually before too many symptoms appeared.  She had fallen and broken her tailbone.  When the symptoms persisted, she went to see a doctor who immediately ordered a colonoscopy.  Much to our chagrin, they discovered her cancer. 

Being typical Laurel, she attacked her diagnosis with positivity and planning.  She was a major planner... just like me. She was scheduled for radiation and chemotherapy.  She met each appointment with positivity if not a little bit of apprehension at the discomfort and unbelievability of it all.  I mean, she was not even 50! Her chemo was the kind that you had attached to you for a week and then had a few day's break.  She endured this for 8 weeks.... and then she was declared cancer-free!

She had one more obstacle to overcome before she was done with the whole mess.  She was scheduled for an operation to remove any remnants of her cancer.  She was so young they wanted to ensure that nothing was left.  She had so many things left to do... why not make sure it is all out.  That surgery was scheduled for February 1st.

I remember the morning of her surgery, I texted her a picture of the chicks that had just hatched in my classroom.  Just trying to keep it normal for me and her.  Surgery went well, she came out with what we thought were flying colors.  We even joked with her afterward about what a pain in the ass she was... like literally now.  She sounded tired but so good... and of course, thought the whole joke was funny.  

Unfortunately, the rest of the story is not unicorns and rainbows.  Somewhere along the way, Laur developed complications from the colostomy bag that was attached during surgery.  She spent too many hours feeling horrible, vomiting, and not being able to eat.  She went to the doctor numerous times and finally to the ER.  She waited in the ER for way too long, too much time was wasted on trying to figure things out.  My fun, kind, never met a stranger sister-in-law was now in Septic Shock.  Just the sound of those words fills people with dread.  For those of us that loved her, they have become the equivalent of really bad four-letter words.  Like think of the worst one you know.... Septic Shock is worse than that!

She lost her battle with sepsis on February 13th.  Her body couldn't fight off the infection but boy did she try.  She would write notes to have the doctor answer her questions or to comment on how she was feeling. She died surrounded by the people she loved most in the world.  

So see, February is not my favorite month.  Each thing I do I remember what I was doing that last February.  When the kids do readers theater, I think about how I took those calls from my mother-in-law in the hall.  Of how I had to leave school during their plays.  February brings the start of Lacrosse, but all I think about was the boys missing practice to go to Florida.  I love my class's chicken project, but when they hatch I think about those texts with Laurel on February 1.  

I know that time heals all wounds and maybe February will become less painful as the years go on.  But for now, I will try and focus on the positive, good memories I have. I won't focus on the excruciating details of her last February but on all the times before.  Maybe those of you whose February is the month of love will hold yours just a little bit tighter this year.  

It's Been Awhile

 It has been a very long time since I have attempted to write this blog.  I hadn't realized that it had been months until I showed my blog to my students.  I was shocked to see that it had been that long and equally as shocked to realize how much I missed it.  I really need to make more of an effort to write!

So much has happened since my last blog.  My school district went from fully virtual to a phased approach back to the classroom.  Elementary went first, so I have been back in the classroom for almost seven weeks.  Kids were given the option to choose to return face to face or to remain virtual.  Teachers were asked to teach both the virtual kids and the face to face kids.  Needless to say, this has been a transition for us all! 

The kids have adjusted to all the new procedures and routines.  The virtual kids seem to be adjusting as well.  The teachers.... well.... we are doing the best we can.  It is extremely tiring to manage all of the things that we are being asked to do.  Each week it appears that there is something new to do or more children are joining virtually.  I don't think I have gone to bed this early in my life!! For so many people I know bedtime is moving earlier and earlier.... although some people's bedtime is getting later and later.  Weird how that works!

I do feel like we are getting back to some level of normalcy. Having kids in the building, hearing their laughter, watching them finally understand a concept.... are all such normal things.  Now, I know we all have masks on so it is not totally normal... but it is a start.  We have to capture these moments of our new normal and hold tight to them. 

We have to hold on to what is precious and to what makes us happy.  If I have not learned anything else from 2020, I have learned that time is fleeting, normalcy is precious, letting go of what was is paramount, and kindness is the answer.  Oh and don't hog the toilet paper or the Lysol wipes!!

I will write more... I will make more of an effort to embrace something that I enjoy.  It will not be three months before I blog again.... at least I hope not :) .

Ignorance is Bliss....

    Today is day seven of pre-planning with eight more to go.  My district has decided to have three weeks of pre-planning. Yes, you read that right....three weeks of pre-planning.  They have developed a new learning management system for the students to use and we have to learn it all!  Needless to say, we have been busy learning this system and worrying about what's to come.

    To give you some background, we are starting the year virtually.  The transition rate of COVID in my community is considered high and our Superintendent made the decision to have the students learn from home.  Teachers will be in the building to teach but have the option to teach remotely if needed. To say that the decision to learn virtually has been met with mixed emotions, is like saying fish need water.  I have never in my life heard so many differing opinions on what is the best option.  Frankly, I have stopped reading the millions of posts and begun to bury my head in the sand.  Maybe ignorance is bliss!

    I know that this year will be dramatically different than any other year.  I know that students will have adjustments to digital learning.  I know that it will be a huge learning curve for all educators... this is not the spring, we are expected to be brilliant.  I know that some parents will be so thankful and appreciative of the hard work that goes into creating digital lessons and the fact that we are taking time away from our own kids to create the lessons.  I know that some people will not be happy with digital learning no matter how fabulous the lessons are.  I know that people will write all about it on social media... the good, the bad, and the ugly.  I know that we, as teachers, will be judged like never before.  

    I know that I will love my new crop of fourth-graders.  I know that I will give 110% to ensure that I am meeting their needs.  I absolutely, 100% know that I will address their social and emotional well being before we begin to talk about content.  I know that I will put my relationship with my students at the forefront of my teaching.  I know that I will continue to be me... digital or not!

    I know that I am not a box of chocolate.... I can't make everyone happy. I know that some people will not be behind digital learning no matter what.  I know that I can't change everyone's mind on things.  I know that there will be those that don't show up, give their all, or even try.  That's ok because I know that I will. 

    I know that I will take care of myself.  I know I will continue to work out every day at the ungodly hour of 4AM.  I know that I will take my vitamins and eat healthy.  I know I will drink so much water that I can no longer stand it.  I know that I will spend time reading silly, beach read kind of books.  I know that I will spend time with my family and my dogs.  

    Maybe ignorance is bliss! Today, as always, I am going to focus on the things that I know.... to focus on the things that I can control.  I will absolutely continue to choose joy, kindness, and happiness.  Above all, I know that after these next eight days of pre-planning, I will be the best teacher that I can be.  Good luck to all of you as you embark on another amazing year....whether digital or not!

Stopping to notice

I was moved by the introduction to this week's Slice of Life blog post.... by how important it is to stop and notice things around us and how our words live on when we are no longer.  WOW! In these turbulent times in our lives, it is more important than ever to stop, take stock of the wonders around you and be appreciative of what you have.  Somewhere along the way, people have lost the amazement of being alive, of appreciating the wonder all around us.  I mean, come on, the world is pretty amazing if we take the time to appreciate it.  We have become caught up in rushing to the next big thing or racing from point A to point B never stopping to realize we are missing things along the way.

I am as guilty as the next person, I spent my time rushing from one kid's practice to the next, trudging through my morning runs just to get through them, counting the hours to the next break in school, and never once stopping to realize how special it all is.  If this pandemic has afforded me anything, it is many moments to reflect on what I have and how lucky I am.  And boy, am I lucky!

I have started to just pause mid-moment to take it all in... I think my kids think I am losing it!  But when will I ever have both boys willingly under the same rough, not fighting and actually talking to their parents about stuff?  This just doesn't' happen... teenagers are always on the go and boys say so few words.  I have been so impressed with the kind of people they have become, so different from each other but yet so alike in their core characters.  They are going to be amazing adults, fathers, and husbands someday.

I have been married for almost 25 years and for the majority of those years we have spent our time in different ballparks, different work locations.... like two ships passing in the night.  Now, we are both working from home (or I was...it's summer) and have spent more time together.  Now, for some that might be troublesome, but for us we have really had the chance to talk, to hang out, to just enjoy each other's company.  I will miss that when we all go back to work but am now really ready for retirement!


If nothing else comes of this trying time in our lives, I hope that people spend the time to reflect on what is important to them.  I worry that we are still all caught up in "it's all about me" ideal that we have had for so long.  It's time to get back to the basic tenet of treating others as you want to be treated.

Normalish....

When will things go back to the way they were before the end of March?  When will I be able to see a friend, give a hug, and not worry about getting sick because of it?  When will I be able to run into the store for a quick stop without a mask and washing my hands two million times?  Is it just me?  Sometimes I wonder if I am the only one that finds myself wondering these things.  As the numbers of cases around me, and the world's, continue to rise, I know that I can't be the only one to worry about these things.  

I keep taking little steps back to normal but with each one am left with anxiety and unease after.  I met friends at the cutest outdoor winery on Friday evening. I was so excited to go, the venue was outside and I could practice social distancing.  Well.... I saw so many people I knew... which is awesome but everyone just jumps up and hugs.  We have always greeting friends that we haven't seen in a while with a quick hug... it was so normal.  Until I get home, and I am met with unease and a million questions that run through my mind.  "How many days until symptoms show up?" "That was a quick hug, surely you can't catch it that quick."  "I washed my hands right after, will that help?" And on and on and on.

We finally scheduled our annual family beach vacation.  I have been busy planning this like I normally do.  I found a great place, right in between the activities and the beach.  We have enough bedrooms for the boys to bring friends and a patio to drink my morning coffee. It is exactly what we wanted.  Yeah me.... until the questions begin in my head.  "How far apart can we get on the beach?" "Will we go out to eat?" "How many cases of Covid are there?"  So, I do what I have always done and look for answers and reviews.... bad mistake.... just negative comments that increase the questions in my mind.  

These are just two examples of the new normal of my mind.  I want to be out there, I want to do things I did before but when I do, I worry.  I have never been a worrier, so this is a new normal.  I can't even imagine what will happen when school goes back.  Maybe the answer is just jumping in with both feet and seeing what happens? Maybe by getting back out there, I will find a new normal or something normalish....

Fathers

Father's Day is right around the corner. Such an important day to lavish respect on the unsung heroes of the family.  Father's have it rough, I believe.  According to norms in society, they have to be strong and stalwart, providing for their families and providing the "wait until your father gets home" kind of discipline.  I know these norms are old fashion and out of touch, but I will venture to say that in more homes than not this is the role the father takes on.

In my childhood, that was the kind of dad I had.  He was quiet and calm.  He could correct a behavior with the shake of his head. He worked long hours, often leaving the house before 6 and returning around dinner time.  Five days a week, he spent at the office providing for his family.  The weekends were not days to just lay around, no way! My dad worked in the yard or his garden on Saturdays.  Sundays were spent watching his beloved Steelers and eating Sunday Roast Beef dinner as a family.

Sundays were my favorite because he was home all day and we could share an apple and peanut butter while watching the game.  I am the only daughter and as most daughters do, had a special bond with my dad.  He was the calm in a storm, the safety net when I was scared and the voice of logic in all things.  He was the nicest man I knew and had the best belly laugh around.

I often hoped that I would find someone just like my dad.... calm, strong, faithful, kind and wicked smart.  I hit the jackpot! My husband has shown my boys the kind of dad that they should be.... strong, loving, kind, fun, hardworking and wicked smart.

Like my dad, my husband works long days to provide for his family.  Lets face it... my teaching salary is not enough for anyone to live on! He has missed out on many games, or school events while working.  He has tried his best to make all their games... often eating at the field, or taking a call while coaching first!  He has spent the majority of his weekends for the last 13 years or so at either at a baseball or lacrosse tournament.  Cheering them on, offering advice when needed or strategizing over the next opponent.  The "boys" have spent countless hours watching sports.... MLB baseball, LSU football, NFL football and on and on.  He has arranged trips to all their favorite teams games and provided them with unbelievable expereinces.  All while quietly showing them what a dad, husband and man should be.

Mom's may be the north star of the family, but dad's are the vessel that carries you through a storm.  Strong, trustworthy and silently doing their job.  Thank you to my dad and to my husband!  Hats off to all the Dad's out there!!

The Little Dog

The youngest and the smallest of the dogs is fierce.  He is the first to bark at all things real and imaginary.  He watches the neighborhood like a scout in the army... surveying, watching for danger, and giving a loud warning when things are amiss.  The dog stands about 24 inches tall with a white face, white paws, and a reverse brindle coat. 

He makes his presence known.  When you enter his house, he barks furiously at you.  He does not bite or nip, merely demands your attention.  He will jump on you and stretch his body to the max to ensure that you see him as if you could miss him with his incessant barking.  If you happen to move floors and reenter, he will announce your arrival with a series of barks.  He is fierce and determined to garner attention.

He is as equally loving as he is loud.  He is the first to jump up to sleep snuggled up to you.  He will find his spot next to your legs on the recliner only moving when you move.  He will sleep all night snuggled up to your legs.  (this makes it very hard to sleep).  Once you are his person, you are his person forever.

The little dog loves to play with the large yellow dog. He doesn't seem to know that the large dog has him by 65 pounds and almost 12 inches in height.  He attacks with veracity and might.  He lunges and yips, darting in and out making it hard for the larger dog to keep up.  He will race through the yard with speed and agility, often leaping over plants, steps, and his larger bff.  He is amazing to watch.

The little dog is loved beyond belief by his human and canine family.  Tiny but mighty all the way!

Big Trucks and Kayaks

"Hey, Bill... Can you help me load this kayak?" That is how my trip into real life began. I met my BFF Emily for much-needed girl time, exercise, and a chance to dip my toe back into the lake of life.  With help from my husband, my kayak was loaded into the back of my oldest son's black F 150.  I ran around like a crazy person gathering waters, a protein bar, and sunscreen.  "Have I forgotten anything?" I pondered my list... water... check, snack...check, sunscreen.... check. "What am I missing?"  A towel, I need a towel! I ran to the laundry room and grabbed a blue patterned beach towel from the top of the dryer.  So glad that I never got around to putting that away!  I hoist my small self into the big truck, put the key in the ignition, and begin to back down my steep driveway.

I roll the windows down, plug in my Spotify place list and head down the road. Jamming out to a variety of country music, I choose the scenic route to Red Top Mountain and Lake Allatoona.  As I am driving along, I frequently glance back to double-check the kayak.  I am always a little afraid that thing is going to go sailing out of the back of the truck.  I know that it is strapped in with the super fancy yellow ratcheting straps... but still I can't let go of the notion that the kayak is going to fly out.

Whew, I made it to Red Top Mountain Road and crossed the super narrow bridge.  Seriously, if you have ever been across this bridge you know what I mean... it is one of those bridges that were made a long time before ginormous SUV's,  two can barely fit and I always feel like I am going to bump along the side of someone.  Around this time, Emily calls to tell me that she has bought me a parking pass and to give me exact directions to the place that we are going to put in our kayaks.  They go something like this......" Go to beach road, go to the left.... stay on the main road.... go past those orange barricade thingys, go down this really steep hill and park."  Ok, I think I can do that.  Nope.... I miss the beach road and have to turn this big truck around and head back towards the bridge.  I see the street and turn left onto another impossibly narrow road....seriously people I am driving this big truck.  Anyway, I bear left on the road, go past the barricade thingys and down a really steep hill.  What was she thinking... is what goes through my mind as I lose sight of the road as the grade of the hill is so steep.  As I make it to the bottom, I see her standing outside of her son's black F150 (that's funny right... our kids have almost the same car... it's a Georgia boy thing). I stick my head out the window, wave and attempt to park.  Well, it takes me a couple of minutes to decide where to park and then to actually park the truck.

I jump out of the truck and we laugh at the absurdity of us in these trucks.  We decide on a place to put the kayaks in and begin to unload.  As we do, it as if we haven't missed a beat.... "Your's first... sure....... Did  I tell you.... No way really?...  And on and on the easy flow of conversation continues as we make our way to the water and begin our day on the lake.  "You first... OH MY GOSH this is cold... I knew you would say that!"