Tuesday, June 23, 2020


When will things go back to the way they were before the end of March?  When will I be able to see a friend, give a hug, and not worry about getting sick because of it?  When will I be able to run into the store for a quick stop without a mask and washing my hands two million times?  Is it just me?  Sometimes I wonder if I am the only one that finds myself wondering these things.  As the numbers of cases around me, and the world's, continue to rise, I know that I can't be the only one to worry about these things.  

I keep taking little steps back to normal but with each one am left with anxiety and unease after.  I met friends at the cutest outdoor winery on Friday evening. I was so excited to go, the venue was outside and I could practice social distancing.  Well.... I saw so many people I knew... which is awesome but everyone just jumps up and hugs.  We have always greeting friends that we haven't seen in a while with a quick hug... it was so normal.  Until I get home, and I am met with unease and a million questions that run through my mind.  "How many days until symptoms show up?" "That was a quick hug, surely you can't catch it that quick."  "I washed my hands right after, will that help?" And on and on and on.

We finally scheduled our annual family beach vacation.  I have been busy planning this like I normally do.  I found a great place, right in between the activities and the beach.  We have enough bedrooms for the boys to bring friends and a patio to drink my morning coffee. It is exactly what we wanted.  Yeah me.... until the questions begin in my head.  "How far apart can we get on the beach?" "Will we go out to eat?" "How many cases of Covid are there?"  So, I do what I have always done and look for answers and reviews.... bad mistake.... just negative comments that increase the questions in my mind.  

These are just two examples of the new normal of my mind.  I want to be out there, I want to do things I did before but when I do, I worry.  I have never been a worrier, so this is a new normal.  I can't even imagine what will happen when school goes back.  Maybe the answer is just jumping in with both feet and seeing what happens? Maybe by getting back out there, I will find a new normal or something normalish....

1 comment:

  1. I can relate to what you’re talking about. Any time I do something with my kids — even going to the grocery store — I worry. It is hard not to.

    We went cherry picking over the weekend. It was the first normal thing we’ve done in months. My daughter, who is 9, remarked that it felt good to do something regular.


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