Tuesday, June 23, 2020


When will things go back to the way they were before the end of March?  When will I be able to see a friend, give a hug, and not worry about getting sick because of it?  When will I be able to run into the store for a quick stop without a mask and washing my hands two million times?  Is it just me?  Sometimes I wonder if I am the only one that finds myself wondering these things.  As the numbers of cases around me, and the world's, continue to rise, I know that I can't be the only one to worry about these things.  

I keep taking little steps back to normal but with each one am left with anxiety and unease after.  I met friends at the cutest outdoor winery on Friday evening. I was so excited to go, the venue was outside and I could practice social distancing.  Well.... I saw so many people I knew... which is awesome but everyone just jumps up and hugs.  We have always greeting friends that we haven't seen in a while with a quick hug... it was so normal.  Until I get home, and I am met with unease and a million questions that run through my mind.  "How many days until symptoms show up?" "That was a quick hug, surely you can't catch it that quick."  "I washed my hands right after, will that help?" And on and on and on.

We finally scheduled our annual family beach vacation.  I have been busy planning this like I normally do.  I found a great place, right in between the activities and the beach.  We have enough bedrooms for the boys to bring friends and a patio to drink my morning coffee. It is exactly what we wanted.  Yeah me.... until the questions begin in my head.  "How far apart can we get on the beach?" "Will we go out to eat?" "How many cases of Covid are there?"  So, I do what I have always done and look for answers and reviews.... bad mistake.... just negative comments that increase the questions in my mind.  

These are just two examples of the new normal of my mind.  I want to be out there, I want to do things I did before but when I do, I worry.  I have never been a worrier, so this is a new normal.  I can't even imagine what will happen when school goes back.  Maybe the answer is just jumping in with both feet and seeing what happens? Maybe by getting back out there, I will find a new normal or something normalish....

Tuesday, June 16, 2020


Father's Day is right around the corner. Such an important day to lavish respect on the unsung heroes of the family.  Father's have it rough, I believe.  According to norms in society, they have to be strong and stalwart, providing for their families and providing the "wait until your father gets home" kind of discipline.  I know these norms are old fashion and out of touch, but I will venture to say that in more homes than not this is the role the father takes on.

In my childhood, that was the kind of dad I had.  He was quiet and calm.  He could correct a behavior with the shake of his head. He worked long hours, often leaving the house before 6 and returning around dinner time.  Five days a week, he spent at the office providing for his family.  The weekends were not days to just lay around, no way! My dad worked in the yard or his garden on Saturdays.  Sundays were spent watching his beloved Steelers and eating Sunday Roast Beef dinner as a family.

Sundays were my favorite because he was home all day and we could share an apple and peanut butter while watching the game.  I am the only daughter and as most daughters do, had a special bond with my dad.  He was the calm in a storm, the safety net when I was scared and the voice of logic in all things.  He was the nicest man I knew and had the best belly laugh around.

I often hoped that I would find someone just like my dad.... calm, strong, faithful, kind and wicked smart.  I hit the jackpot! My husband has shown my boys the kind of dad that they should be.... strong, loving, kind, fun, hardworking and wicked smart.

Like my dad, my husband works long days to provide for his family.  Lets face it... my teaching salary is not enough for anyone to live on! He has missed out on many games, or school events while working.  He has tried his best to make all their games... often eating at the field, or taking a call while coaching first!  He has spent the majority of his weekends for the last 13 years or so at either at a baseball or lacrosse tournament.  Cheering them on, offering advice when needed or strategizing over the next opponent.  The "boys" have spent countless hours watching sports.... MLB baseball, LSU football, NFL football and on and on.  He has arranged trips to all their favorite teams games and provided them with unbelievable expereinces.  All while quietly showing them what a dad, husband and man should be.

Mom's may be the north star of the family, but dad's are the vessel that carries you through a storm.  Strong, trustworthy and silently doing their job.  Thank you to my dad and to my husband!  Hats off to all the Dad's out there!!

Tuesday, June 9, 2020

The Little Dog

The youngest and the smallest of the dogs is fierce.  He is the first to bark at all things real and imaginary.  He watches the neighborhood like a scout in the army... surveying, watching for danger, and giving a loud warning when things are amiss.  The dog stands about 24 inches tall with a white face, white paws, and a reverse brindle coat. 

He makes his presence known.  When you enter his house, he barks furiously at you.  He does not bite or nip, merely demands your attention.  He will jump on you and stretch his body to the max to ensure that you see him as if you could miss him with his incessant barking.  If you happen to move floors and reenter, he will announce your arrival with a series of barks.  He is fierce and determined to garner attention.

He is as equally loving as he is loud.  He is the first to jump up to sleep snuggled up to you.  He will find his spot next to your legs on the recliner only moving when you move.  He will sleep all night snuggled up to your legs.  (this makes it very hard to sleep).  Once you are his person, you are his person forever.

The little dog loves to play with the large yellow dog. He doesn't seem to know that the large dog has him by 65 pounds and almost 12 inches in height.  He attacks with veracity and might.  He lunges and yips, darting in and out making it hard for the larger dog to keep up.  He will race through the yard with speed and agility, often leaping over plants, steps, and his larger bff.  He is amazing to watch.

The little dog is loved beyond belief by his human and canine family.  Tiny but mighty all the way!

Tuesday, June 2, 2020

Big Trucks and Kayaks

"Hey, Bill... Can you help me load this kayak?" That is how my trip into real life began. I met my BFF Emily for much-needed girl time, exercise, and a chance to dip my toe back into the lake of life.  With help from my husband, my kayak was loaded into the back of my oldest son's black F 150.  I ran around like a crazy person gathering waters, a protein bar, and sunscreen.  "Have I forgotten anything?" I pondered my list... water... check, snack...check, sunscreen.... check. "What am I missing?"  A towel, I need a towel! I ran to the laundry room and grabbed a blue patterned beach towel from the top of the dryer.  So glad that I never got around to putting that away!  I hoist my small self into the big truck, put the key in the ignition, and begin to back down my steep driveway.

I roll the windows down, plug in my Spotify place list and head down the road. Jamming out to a variety of country music, I choose the scenic route to Red Top Mountain and Lake Allatoona.  As I am driving along, I frequently glance back to double-check the kayak.  I am always a little afraid that thing is going to go sailing out of the back of the truck.  I know that it is strapped in with the super fancy yellow ratcheting straps... but still I can't let go of the notion that the kayak is going to fly out.

Whew, I made it to Red Top Mountain Road and crossed the super narrow bridge.  Seriously, if you have ever been across this bridge you know what I mean... it is one of those bridges that were made a long time before ginormous SUV's,  two can barely fit and I always feel like I am going to bump along the side of someone.  Around this time, Emily calls to tell me that she has bought me a parking pass and to give me exact directions to the place that we are going to put in our kayaks.  They go something like this......" Go to beach road, go to the left.... stay on the main road.... go past those orange barricade thingys, go down this really steep hill and park."  Ok, I think I can do that.  Nope.... I miss the beach road and have to turn this big truck around and head back towards the bridge.  I see the street and turn left onto another impossibly narrow road....seriously people I am driving this big truck.  Anyway, I bear left on the road, go past the barricade thingys and down a really steep hill.  What was she thinking... is what goes through my mind as I lose sight of the road as the grade of the hill is so steep.  As I make it to the bottom, I see her standing outside of her son's black F150 (that's funny right... our kids have almost the same car... it's a Georgia boy thing). I stick my head out the window, wave and attempt to park.  Well, it takes me a couple of minutes to decide where to park and then to actually park the truck.

I jump out of the truck and we laugh at the absurdity of us in these trucks.  We decide on a place to put the kayaks in and begin to unload.  As we do, it as if we haven't missed a beat.... "Your's first... sure....... Did  I tell you.... No way really?...  And on and on the easy flow of conversation continues as we make our way to the water and begin our day on the lake.  "You first... OH MY GOSH this is cold... I knew you would say that!"

This is it...

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