Thursday, April 2, 2020

The Empty Classroom

Yesterday, we got the news that school would be closed for the remainder of this year.  Closed for the remainder of the year.... I had a feeling that those words were coming, yet when they were said I was still shocked.  Flabbergasted, heartbroken, devastated, lost.... all emotions that I experienced in a span of minutes.  It is one thing to think something is going to happen and another for it to happen.

I had to take the night to process the depth of my emotions and how to move forward with purpose and positivity.  See, that is what I do... I am a one foot in front of the other kind of person.  I have experienced great loss, both my parents and last year my sister in law, and I put one foot in front of the other and came out the other side with lessons learned.  I just needed a minute to get my bearings, to allow myself to feel the loss, to have a good old fashioned cry.

I have taken my minute and I am putting one for in front of the other.  I believe the loss is so profound this time because it involved 51 nine and ten-year-olds who I love dearly.  These kids make me smile, laugh until I have tears rolling down my face and give the best hugs.  They always seem to know when I needed a break, or a joke or a riddle...they love riddles.  They are silly and smart and at times drove me CRAZY.  But I would love to be back together again. We had so many things that we were going to do, so many things that we still needed to learn.  Just so many things....

Although I won't see their smiling faces in my classroom anymore or hear their giggles or see them choosing kindness, their legacy will be felt in years to come.  I will look out into my classroom and remember the good times that we had, the silly times and of course, the times that were not so great and I will find comfort in it.  I will tell stories to the next group of fourth graders and reminisce with this group when I see them in the hall.  We will forever be tied together by this shared experience and I can not think of a more perfect group to be associated with.

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